A Lesson on Self Worth and How It Has Nothing To Do With Your Success

I’m going to come right out and say it.  You are worthy of the success you desire.  You are worthy of attracting great clients with huge travel budgets who want to book the penthouse suites of your favorite cruise lines or butler suites of your favorite resort lines.  You are worthy.  And other people’s desire for the same type of clients and bookings does NOT take away from your ability to have it/them.

But you and I both know, I could shout this at you until I am blue in the face, but you won’t believe it until you believe in your own worth.  It doesn’t matter that I think you are worthy.  You have to think you are worthy.  If you are reading this right now, odds are, there are parts of you that don’t feel worthy of success. I know because I didn’t feel worthy of success.  Some days, I still don’t.  Feeling worthy of success is a journey not a destination.  So how does one take the journey?

I’ll tell you where you get stuck.  This is typically how it goes down:  You want something that you don’t have.  You notice you don’t have it.  For example, you have recently become aware of river cruising and you think it’s the next best thing since sliced bread.  You love everything about it.  And of course, you want to sell it.  There we are….you want something that you don’t have.  In this case, you want to sell lots and lots of river cruises but you don’t have any clients that would even consider spending that much on travel.

The next thing that happens (almost instantaneously) is that you inaccurately conclude you don’t have these clients because you are doing something wrong or you aren’t enough.  If you were (fill in the blank) enough…i.e., smart, expert, savvy, connected, rich, you would have the clients who want to book river cruises.  Then, you notice other people who have what you want and you feel even worse about your “wrongness.”  You seem to be surrounded by other agents who are breaking sales records with your favorite river cruise line.  This reinforces your sense of inadequateness.

What you are left with is a lack of self worth.  That’s how it gets created.  And this is one simple example, but because we are a complicated species with many facets, this type of situation happens in many areas of our lives multiplying the effect of lack of self worth.

Where did you go wrong?  You went wrong when you concluded that you don’t have something you want because you aren’t worthy.  I want to tell you something your mother should have told you from the age of 5:  There is no peanut gallery judging you, your actions, doling out a grade that determines whether you have what you want or not.  It’s all within you.

When you notice you don’t have something you want you have 2 choices:  1) to focus on the lack or 2) to focus on what you want.  It really is that simple.  When you focus on the lack, which often takes the form of focusing on the “how” i.e., how will I ever find those clients?, you generate resistance that prevents it from coming to you.

When you focus on the feeling place of having what you want (long before it’s there yet), you have no resistance and with time it will easily flow into your life.  The problem is that almost nobody tells you to focus on how it feels to have what you want when you don’t have it yet.  In fact, they may tell you that you are crazy or lazy.   So we end up spending our time figuring out how to effort our way to what we want.  Effort-ing your way to what you want is sabotage because effort is resistance.  Resistance is what’s keeping it away, NOT your worth.  It’s all up to you.  There is no peanut gallery.  There are no grades in life.  Just choices.  It’s a choice of focusing on what is, or focusing on where you want to go.

How do you know if you are focusing on lack or focusing on what you want?  Your emotions will tell you.  When you feel fear, anxiety, intimidated, frustration, etc…this is just a red flag telling you to re-direct your focus.  When you feel happy, excited, eager, playful, etc, you have lined up with what you want and are allowing the flow of life to take you where you want to go.  Deliberate, repeated and pure focus on what you want WILL deliver the inspiration to take action.  It can and will unfold effortlessly.

In conclusion, there is no such thing as self worth.  That’s why your self worth has nothing to do with your success.  What does have to do with your success is your ability to use your emotions as your guide for your focus.

Your Assignment:

Are you faced with something you want but don’t have?  Most of us are.  Take that situation and use it as a learning experience.  Decide today to put your focus on what you want, not on the absence of it.  Stop noticing the absence of it.  Start feeling for it.  What does it feel like when you have it?  Take yourself there emotionally each day and watch things change rapidly.

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