Have you ever felt stuck? Not necessarily every part of your life is stuck and you are even proud of certain things going on in your life – kids are thriving, job is great, etc, but there is this one thing that you can’t seem to make progress on. Maybe it’s your excess weight. Maybe it’s your relationship with your spouse. Maybe it’s your finances. It can be any subject in the world, but you are frustrated because no matter what you do, how hard you try (and you’ve tried EVERYTHING), you are still where you were months ago, years ago or maybe worse off.
Want to know why you are stuck in that part of your life? The answer is two words: sloppy focus. Believe it or not, all you have to do to get unstuck is to spend more time focused on what you want, but most of us are focused on what we’ve got.
What is “sloppy focus?” When you don’t use your ability to control your focus and instead put it on auto pilot. As human beings, we are excellent observers of “what is.” We get so good at it that it trains our expectations. We go throughout our day observing what the fitness expert says about our food choices, how that person speaks back to us, what the bank account says about our balance, what the experts are saying about the economy, and so on. No matter how true all of it is, letting it be your focus is what is keeping you stuck.
Why? Because your observation of the conditions around you is dictating how you feel. That emotion is magnetic to other thoughts of a similar nature, so law of attraction sends you more thoughts that reinforce the emotion. As you think and then feel, then receive similar thoughts and feel more of the same, then think more, you get sucked into a cycle of thinking, feeling, thinking and feeling. As you emote, you put out a signal that actually prevents what you want from coming to you.
Most of us have no idea that we can stop the cycle by using our power of focus. Even though we have the ability and choice to put our focus on something else, because we have trained ourselves to be such keen observers, it doesn’t even occur to us. It’s a lot like the the fly on the window sill who is desperately wanting to fly his way to freedom, outside. He keeps attempting to fly through the glass, not realizing that 6 feet away is an open door.
Here’s an example of how sloppy focus can keep you stuck in a state of financial strain. You observe that your bank balance is $2,000 less than it needs to be to cover all your expenses this month. You feel insecure and even panic. This attracts more thoughts about what you can’t afford this month, what you can’t pay for. Your feelings of insecurity get reinforced. More thoughts about your frustration with your finances come to you. This cycle goes on and on until you realize it’s been 3 hours that you’ve been stuck in it. Eventually, you go to bed feeling completely overwhelmed, scared and frustrated. When you wake up, you find yourself thinking about it. Then you go to work and complain about it to your friends or co workers. You continue to tell the story as it is and not how you want it to be. So you stay stuck.
Your solution lies in your ability to put your focus on something that will make you feel good, happy, joyful, and at peace. You can focus on what you want, instead of what you have, like a bank account statement that is $2,000 MORE than your total expenses for the month. Or receiving an unexpected windfall of money one month.
You don’t have to put your focus on the subject of finances either. Your goal is just to feel better and there are endless subjects that you can focus on that WILL make you feel good. So if changing the subject altogether gets you to a better feeling place, then do that.
But a very important piece to this puzzle is that the most effective way to get unstuck on this subject is by taking control of your focus BEFORE you get triggered by something like a bank account statement or an unexpected bill. It is so easy and simple to wake up in the morning and spend a little bit of time just feeling good. It is so easy and simple to create this kind of ritual, doing it everyday such that we begin to put out a very different signal and thus have the ability to focus out of the negative emotion when we get triggered again. But very few of us do it.
Most of us are lazy focusers. We wake up in the morning, instantly think of the “to-do” list and jump into action, observing the chaos going on around us. We forget the sequence of events. We forget that our thoughts dictate our emotions which dictate the signal we put out, which is the reason for everything that is showing up in our lives. We have the order wrong. We observe the condition and think we have to take action to fix it. Action will get you results, but the results are mediocre in comparison to what the power of focus will get you.
Identify a part of your life where you are stuck and have been for some time. Ask yourself, “what is the base emotion I tend to feel on this subject?’ When you know what you don’t want, you know more clearly what you DO want. So then ask yourself, “if this condition didn’t exist (or improved to beyond what I want), how would I feel?” Get really clear on the improved feeling and milk it. Don’t just use words. Get to the feeling place of the improved emotion. Practice this every morning before you get out of bed.