A very wise person once said to me, “Meredith, if you’ve been wanting something for a very long time and it hasn’t come to fruition yet, odds are, you have the wrong ‘part’ running the show in that segment of your life.” That statement hit me right between the eyes and was exactly what I needed to make a significant shift in who was showing up in my business.
So what does that statement mean? Every human being has multiple personalities. I am not saying that every human being has a personality disorder. What I am saying is that human beings are extremely complex and we navigate daily life by using different personalities for different areas of our lives. For example, the working mother delivering a presentation at work is a very different person than the same woman reading a bedtime story for her three-year-old daughter. It’s the same person but different personality. Think about the people closest to you. I am certain you will recognize more than one personality for their different roles in life.
Tony Robbins teaches that we tend to have 10-12 different personalities at any given time. This flexibility is what helps us progress so quickly in life. There is no need to fight the fact that we have multiple personalities. What is helpful is accepting this and understanding how to use them. Each personality shows up for a reason and is equipped to get you want you want or need out of that role. But if you don’t understand how to use them, they will use you.
Often, a specific personality will only reveal itself during a time of stress, and then go away until needed again. However, more often, a personality will reveal itself during a time of stress and then never leave. This is a big problem when that personality is not wired for success in that part of your life. It came up to help you in a specific situation, but it is not wired to get you what you want long term in that part of your life.
For example, let’s pretend that your father lost his job when you were 12. It was sad and frightening for you and the rest of your family. At that time, you wanted a new dress for a dance. You saw the dress in the window of a store and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Since your father had just lost his job, cash flow in your house was very tight and your parents were already scrimping on much more basic things. There was no way they were going to buy that dress for you, so you had to either accept it, or be creative.
You got creative. Your friend had a paper route, but she broke her ankle and needed someone to take it over for 2 months. You happily offered. You were the best paper delivery girl the neighborhood ever saw. You quickly figured out how to get tips – you left the paper exactly where they wanted it, you made conversation with the homeowner when collecting their newspaper payment, you were nice to their pets, you picked up trash and debris on their lawns, and you even left nice notes with their paper every once in a while. In essence, you pounded the pavement every single day until you were done with your commitment. By the time the 2 months was over, you had saved enough money to purchase your dress, a pair of shoes and give your parents a little cash too.
Let’s fast forward 20 years later. You have started your own business. It begins quite well and feels like smooth sailing for the first 18 months. And then, you get into a cash flow crunch. At the exact same time, you discover a software program that would automate a lot of your marketing and accounting. It’s the type of program you’ve been dreaming about finding for 12 months. But it requires a substantial up-front investment. You are in a cash flow crunch. You realize you have to either accept that you can’t invest right now, or you could get creative. You get creative. You decide to “pound the pavement” by making sales calls to every single client in your roster offering them a special for the month. At the end of two weeks, you have achieved your goal and raised enough funds to invest in your software program.
In this example, that “pound the pavement” personality showed up when you needed her, twice. Let’s call her “Patty.” The danger lies in Patty sticking around and being the personality that runs your business. Patty served a great purpose, but she is not wired to take your business down the pathway to success. In fact, Patty is wired to see your business continue to struggle because she doesn’t have an abundance mindset. Patty has the maturity of a 12-year old and was molded by parents who experienced being out of work while raising a family. Patty has a significant scarcity mindset. She believes that making money requires hard work, dedication, commitment and no matter how hard you work, there will only be just enough, because you never know if the rug will be pulled out from under you.
If you move forward in your business without the awareness that Patty came back and ran the show, it’s likely she will automatically stay in charge. It’s almost like falling asleep at the wheel. Don’t fall asleep at the wheel!
So ask yourself right now, “Have I been wanting success in my business for a long time but it hasn’t shown up yet?” Or maybe you have had success, but you’ve been wanting something else in your business for a long time that still hasn’t shown up. If that’s true, then you have the wrong personality running the show.
Discover the business owner personality within you. You absolutely have one. That personality IS wired to take you on your pathway to success. You couldn’t have a desire for your successful business if you didn’t have the personality within you to make it happen. It’s that simple. So go discover that personality and put him or her in charge.
How? Think about times in your life where you have felt successful and/or magnetic, (not desperate and needy.) Think about times in your life where you have felt in a “having” state and not a “wanting” state. Spend some time journaling about this. Give that personality a name. And then ask him or her to step forward and run the show in your business. It really is that simple. Tony Robbins says that a dog knows it’s yours because you give it a name and it comes when you call it. Your personalities are no different. Give it a name. It will come when you call it.