The Gift of Heartbreak

As a business coach focused in the travel industry, why on earth would I be writing an article about heartbreak? How in the world could that help anybody with their business?

I will tell you. Let’s start with this: nobody goes through life unscathed. We all have scars. Some of us have more than others. How deep they are and where they show up will vary greatly from person to person too.

But every scar is a gift. Within our scars, there is clarity, awareness, and strength. But not everyone receives the gift. Sometimes, it takes multiple wounds in the same place such that the scar gets bigger and bigger and bigger before one receives the gift.

That’s what happened to me. My biggest scar was heartbreak. It’s a wound I experienced pretty early in my adulthood, but I didn’t fully receive the gifts of heartbreak until much later. Someone once told me, “crisis causes focus.” Admittedly, it took a colossal crises to get my attention.

One of the greatest gifts from my heartbreak was an understanding of multiple false premises from which I had been basing my beliefs about life. In other words, I spent the first 44 years of my life getting fundamental truths wrong. My life transformed before my very eyes when I started getting these truths right. Such truths permeate all parts of our lives – health, wealth, business, relationships, home, etc. My realization of my false premises changed my beliefs. They no longer limited me and the shower of abundance that rained down on me and my business following was incredible.

I’m not the only one who got these fundamental truths wrong. In fact, most of our modern, first world society is getting them wrong too – as I write. That’s why I had them in the first place. In essence, I inherited them from people who were supposed to be wiser than me.

I want to share the biggest false premises I had. Perhaps I can save you the colossal crises and you can get the gifts without the scar. I promise if you do turn these around to the fundamental truth of life, your life will transform and could be the turning point for your business.

Here are the top 3 False Premises:

1. A belief in the “Peanut Gallery”

The false premise is believing there is some external source or sources for which you must perform and if impressed enough, will reward you with whatever it is you want. For example, if you aspire to have great financial wealth, you must get good grades in school, go to a prestigious and impressive college and once you get the great job, work your butt off so as to keep the powers that be impressed. Just consider for a moment how many situations in childhood reinforce the false premise of the Peanut Gallery:

  • receiving trophies or medals in your competitive sporting experiences;
  • grades on your report card (there’s at least 15 years of this in most lives);

The belief in the Peanut Gallery is so rampant within our society. It’s why we have so much judgement. For the record – there is NO peanut gallery. If you have identified a desire in your life, the way you realize it is to line up with it energetically. What that means is that you have to generate the emotion you will feel when you have your desire. You have to believe it – EXPECT IT – before you see it. Not only must you generate that emotion, you must hold it consistently and long enough that it becomes your default emotion.   I.e., if you have identified a desire to be incredibly wealthy, you must generate the feelings you will feel when you have realized such wealth. Then hold those feelings and generate those emotions daily until they become your default feelings and emotions.

2. A belief in scarcity

I blame the game Monopoly. If you grew up in North America, odds are, you played Monopoly at least once on a rainy day in the summer. Yes, the never ending game reinforces and permeates our society’s scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset is a belief in a limit on anything. It could be a belief in a limit to money or resources or space. Once you have a scarcity mindset on one subject, you will carry it through to all subjects in life.

The fundamental truth is the opposite. There is no limit to anything. You can attract all the money, resources or space into your life as you allow. A good way to shift this is to imagine standing on a beach, facing the never-ending sea with a bucket in your hand. You could fill your bucket with water from the sea as many times as you want, but the sea would never get depleted or emptied. Ever. This is true with every aspect of life. There is no end to anything.

3. A belief that action gets results.

The false premise is this: “The more action I take, the more results I will get.” We’ve all heard (and probably used) the saying, “no pain, no gain.” This is a false premise that permeates our society. In fact, we make heroes of people who go through incredible effort and pain to get great results.

The reality is that while action may get results, the results are futile relative to the results garnered from energetic alignment. There is so much leverage in energetic alignment but most of us ignore it and don’t use this leverage. One who is energetically aligned with their desire is more powerful than thousands who are not.

Here’s another truth. I don’t NEED you to believe any of these things. But I can guarantee your life will go a lot better for you if you believe and practice these fundamental truths. So why not go ahead and try it? What have you got to lose, except possibly a future wound?