There have been enough posts in our private GIFTE forum that have the same theme, I felt it warranted an article. The theme is about clients, colleagues, friends or neighbors not recognizing your value and asking rude or obnoxious requests. Sometimes the request is to “tap your brain” for free because they just don’t have the time to research all the options. Other times the request is about someone blatantly booking their vacation themselves or elsewhere when they clearly know what you do.
I am certain you have encountered something like this in your travel selling career. How does one reply? This may frustrate you, but I am not going to tell you how to reply to the other party. I will share with you how to respond.
The best way to respond is to notice. This is a “success mindset” article, not a business practices article. When you wire your mindset for success, you get curious about everything. So get curious about why that is showing up. I can tell you with absolute certainty that it is only showing up because you are somehow putting out that energy. These “rude and obnoxious” people are simply messengers telling you that you have a pattern of thought on auto play that is not serving you.
Locate the “faulty wiring” by finding the pattern of thought. Are you more focused on people valuing you or not valuing you? If you have a situation like this – someone randomly asking for free advice so they can go and book online – your answer must be that you have been more focused on what you don’t want than on what you do want. It’s not a criticism. It’s just an awareness. Most of us completely miss the sign the universe is sending us, don’t take the time and energy to shift the thought pattern and then live life by default and wonder why it shows up again.
So now that you are aware, what next? It’s time to shift. This is the fun part! Follow this sequence to shift easily and effortlessly.
- You got a message that you are focused on what you don’t want. Identify what you don’t want. For example, I don’t want to feel undervalued. I don’t want people to not see me for the valuable expert I am.
- From these statements, turn them around to discover what you do want. For example, I want my friends, family, colleagues and neighbors to value me. I want them to see me for the valuable expert that I am.
- Conjure up a memory from your life when you felt valued and seen for who you really are. Describe how that felt. Spend 3-5 minutes flooding your memory with those feelings. Example, “I felt accepted, proud, validated, seen, adored, appreciated, important, loved, etc…..”
- Notice the shift. Did you feel it? When you have felt the shift in your emotions (which only takes 5-10 minutes), notice that too. Feel the shift.
- Get addicted to that shift. That’s your life’s work. Don’t rush to the manifestation of what you want. Get focused on doing this shift when you can. Pat yourself on the back for taking the time to use an unwanted situation as the catalyst for deliberately shifting your energy towards what you want.
Most people live their lives by default, noticing everything that is happening around them and letting that be their focus. Whether it’s what they want or what they don’t want, it dictates their point of focus. Since what you focus on expands, their lives happen by default. The way to master your success mindset is to reverse this order. Focus on what you want, whether it’s showing up or not, so that you shift your energy to it and then it will naturally show up for you. When things you don’t want show up in your life, recognize the situation for what it is – a notification that you have a pattern of thought that is not serving you and that it’s time to shift that pattern. Another way to say it, is to take the time and effort to create an energetic atmosphere that is friendly to what you want. The best way to do that is to conjure up the emotions of what you want. Don’t waste your time being upset or fearful when your “don’t wants” show up. Use them as your signal to shift.